Fear is the Absence of Faith
I saw a quote outside of a church close to 30 years ago that has always stuck with me. “Fear is the absence of faith. Faith is the absence of fear”. I’ve always been in awe of the simplicity of those two sentences. We are all fearful, of so many things, simple and catastrophic. My little fears are typical, I’m afraid of a rainy day for an important event, not living up to expectations at work, not being perfectly healthy. My big fears are things I’m terrified of happening, something bad happening to my children or husband, a fire in my home, a loss of income. Are these fears an absence of faith or simply a part of being human?
Because we are human, I think it is very difficult to live out those two sentences. I do believe that being fearful is a lack of faith and I am ashamed and sad that at times, that I don’t always have the faith to believe that no matter what, things work out the way they are supposed to . As a faithful person, I think maybe I should be more accepting of God’s will. Yet, it’s a hard thing to believe considering the amount of tragedy I have seen throughout my life and career. It is hard to say to others, “well I’m sorry your 32 year old daughter died today from breast cancer, but things work out the way they are supposed to”. I’m not quite sure what to do with the greatest question of all time: “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I have been to many a funeral where that is the theme and I never really hear a satisfactory answer despite the fact that I try to be a faithful person.
Yet, somehow, I still seek to deepen my faith. I do, on my best days and from the best of who I would like to be, believe that faith absolutely is the absence of fear. I want desperately to believe that someone bigger and better than all of us is in charge and knows what is best, even if it seems like that can’t possibly be true and that nothing makes sense! Still, I hold on to even the smallest mustard seed of faith. We all need something to believe in and to hold on to., a life preserver. For me, that something is a higher power who is bigger, better, wiser, and more loving than I could ever hope to be. A true father, who does know best. I long for the absence of fear in my every day life. I hope one day, I will know, unequivocably, that it is true., I don’t need to be afraid of anything. My grandmother, who was a very spiritual and faithful woman, used to tell me this regularly, “everything will be ok!” This came from a woman who had a great deal of tragedy in her life, an abusive childhood, the loss of her brother at a young age, the loss of a husband at the age of 50. She could see God and not be afraid despite tragedy. I aspire for that kind of faith. Somedays, I have it, some days, I don’t.
In the meantime, I believe enough and everyday, from the work I am very blessed to do everyday, I look for God and faith in all I see and do, and I work on honing my faith enough to not be afraid.