Faith

I could not do this type of work without an unshakable belief that there is a God and that our lives here on earth are only a precursor to our eternal life in heaven. Working in hospice, palliative care, and with the elderly have strengthened this faith. I believe with every piece of my being that there is a haven of love and joy when we leave this world. I have watched on countless occasions the dying speak to someone in a room that I cannot see, a spouse, a parent, a child that has gone before them. I do believe God sends someone to bring us home. Once, I was in the room when an elderly patient with dementia . She told someone/something in the room that she was not ready. (This was a woman who normally had unintelligible speech) She had recently had a significant decline in her health and was transitioning to the dying process, but ended up rallying for several more weeks, She wasn’t ready quite yet, but was able to die peacefully a few weeks later. I do believe God answers our prayers, she wasn’t quite ready, and He waited for her.

I have witnessed the moment of death countless times in 30+ years and I am always in awe of the tranquility that replaces the frowns and furrows and even wrinkles. Faces soften as the body lets go, the suffering is over and a world with no pain begins. There is peace!

I have seen people hold on in agony, waiting for forgiveness, waiting to forgive, reconciliation, hoping to say I love you one more time. Once this is achieved, often after prayer and the grace of a loved one, the agony is erased and the final breath is breathed with relief. I have witnessed beautiful moments of standing in a circle surrounding a dying man, holding hands with the family, saying the Our Father and watching this man peacefully leave this world. I watched a man in horrible pain suffer for hours, no matter how much morphine we gave, until the parish priest arrived, gave last rites, and the patient was able to finally let go. I have seen people die in a room alone after family members leave to get a bite to eat, sparing the family that last final moment. People usually die the way they lived.

I have also seen people die who do not have a faith. Sadly, I have found that the death process is often prolonged, the person more restless, unsettled, and letting go is very difficult. Praying still makes a difference!

I pray for the patient, that their suffering may end, and for the families, because the people who have died are at peace, the family and friends left behind are now suffering. Grief is the purest form of pain.

I volunteer for the bereavement group in my church. Watching people grieve has also strengthened my faith. Seeing people find comfort in knowing their loved one is no longer suffering, is now in a better place, and have gone before them is inspiring. I like to think that a person who has died is always with us, looking out for us from their perch in heaven. I find comfort in the funeral songs, “Be Not Afraid, I go Before you always, come follow me and I will give you rest: and “I will raise you up on the last day”. These words give comfort because in our faith in God , He brings us courage, hope, strength, love, and rest.

My favorite bible passage is from Isaiah “I will hold you in the palm of My hand”. No matter what happens, what we go through, even our darkest fears and the grief of losing someone we love, God is holding us!